I think what people miss when saying things like "mum will still be left holding the baby" is that of course they bloody will if nothing ever changes, which is why this paternity leave thing is GOOD because it gives dads the opportunity to do more of the holding. It's far too easy for men to hide behind "you just know them better" when they're not given a true opportunity to care for their own offspring. I mean, REALLY *tuts*
Precisely! It’s a self fulfilling prophecy otherwise. Man spends no time with baby so man doesn’t know how to care for baby so man spends no time with baby….
I love this article. Even if we did nothing with the child during paternity leave, theres so much to be done for the new mother, the home (nest) and any other siblings. Dedicated water bottle refilling, breast pump cleaning, cooking food that helps your physical recovery, mental health therapist & sounding board, house cleaner, crib builder, "can you bring me my phone he just fell asleep on my chest" guy.
It’s 16 weeks for dads here in Spain, same as mums. Now, I do think 16 weeks is poor for maternity leave as it’s very young to leave a baby and go back to work. However the vast majority of dads I know then take most of their PL then and take the reins. I think in doing this dad’s really get the opportunity to take part in parenting and to see what it’s like. There’s a lot more respect for each other that way.
Such good writing - I’m not shocked that the article appeared in the telegraph at all, but as you say, it’s kind of so outdated and crazy to think that good dads (or the ‘other parent’ in same sex relationships) are superfluous to a baby’s needs. My boyfriend took 6 weeks unpaid off. He was desperate to take more… he wants what I’ve got (lots of time with the baby). I want a little of what he’s got (a lunch break, a quiet commute to work). It would be so nice if we could share the leave in a financially viable way.
I think it’s impossible to parent and not feel moment of envy on either side- for more time with the kid or more breaks from the kid. and then there’s the guilt of wanting a break- it’s a lot.
I think what people miss when saying things like "mum will still be left holding the baby" is that of course they bloody will if nothing ever changes, which is why this paternity leave thing is GOOD because it gives dads the opportunity to do more of the holding. It's far too easy for men to hide behind "you just know them better" when they're not given a true opportunity to care for their own offspring. I mean, REALLY *tuts*
Precisely! It’s a self fulfilling prophecy otherwise. Man spends no time with baby so man doesn’t know how to care for baby so man spends no time with baby….
I love this article. Even if we did nothing with the child during paternity leave, theres so much to be done for the new mother, the home (nest) and any other siblings. Dedicated water bottle refilling, breast pump cleaning, cooking food that helps your physical recovery, mental health therapist & sounding board, house cleaner, crib builder, "can you bring me my phone he just fell asleep on my chest" guy.
The ‘bring me my blank’ guy is an under appreciated and integral role
Become invisible. What a refreshing change
It’s 16 weeks for dads here in Spain, same as mums. Now, I do think 16 weeks is poor for maternity leave as it’s very young to leave a baby and go back to work. However the vast majority of dads I know then take most of their PL then and take the reins. I think in doing this dad’s really get the opportunity to take part in parenting and to see what it’s like. There’s a lot more respect for each other that way.
agreed- it’s so nice taking part of it in shifts
Your email must be flooded with wet- pantied editors begging for your work. Another one hit over the fence ⭐️👏🏼⭐️
😂 exactly
Such good writing - I’m not shocked that the article appeared in the telegraph at all, but as you say, it’s kind of so outdated and crazy to think that good dads (or the ‘other parent’ in same sex relationships) are superfluous to a baby’s needs. My boyfriend took 6 weeks unpaid off. He was desperate to take more… he wants what I’ve got (lots of time with the baby). I want a little of what he’s got (a lunch break, a quiet commute to work). It would be so nice if we could share the leave in a financially viable way.
I think it’s impossible to parent and not feel moment of envy on either side- for more time with the kid or more breaks from the kid. and then there’s the guilt of wanting a break- it’s a lot.
Yeah - you’re so right